Blind to the Wind

The sky was growing bright and had swallowed all the stars. It had not yet taken any color but was that bright gray of early dawn. The air was unsettled by the shift of night to day, dark to light. The wind grew with the coming dawn. It played in eddies around the rocks and through the canyon. My hair moved reluctantly in the breezes. It didn’t want to move or change. It had a natural lay, the way it had been combed and it felt good in that position. The wind came and forced it to move.

Change. Like the wind it cannot be resisted. It is almost the foundation we live upon, or the rock upon which we build. And as the wind, it washes over everything and sometimes we don’t even notice. I sure didn’t. And I didn’t notice the wind in my hair either.

The rock was hard but smooth and amazingly warm for so early in the morning. My right hand was in a crack and my fingers played across the orange sandstone. It was reassuring. With my left I held a thick chain, oily from sweaty hands. It hung limply from the rock wall and swayed unpredictably in the wind. I turned from the sky to look at the far distant ground. Deep in the shadows of the towering cliffs I could just make out the thread that was the Virgin River. Here and there it reflected the grey dawn light. It must have been over a thousand feet below me at this point. My head spun and I looked back to the wall. My hand sweated on the chain.

Cautiously I looked ahead to my friends. Rob was far ahead and about to make the last accent to the summit. I could make out the zigzag of the chain working up the cliff: an unnatural black line like a pen stroke against the shadowed stone. With him was Michelle. The wind was blowing the day they met too. She was boisterous and fun and teased him as he climbed. But, then, she had been teasing him since we arrived...

I walked along the road up the canyon listening to her quick wit and we laughed. It was enjoyable. And above us, as we walked, the stars slowly spun. There were so many of them we needed no light to make our way. I had never before seen such a sight: The sea of stars edged by the shore of mountain peaks that loomed above us. Their jagged outline was clear and forbidding. But down on the road I felt safe and at peace. The peaks were far above me and out of reach. The road was wide and level except for the occasional pothole, which afforded us the occasional laugh. One of us would put his foot down to find nothing under it and would stumble forward. It was predictable and comforting.

We hiked along the road for hours. Michelle made a quip about my saying it would be a quick hike. I smiled. I thought it was a short hike to the trailhead but I was beginning to doubt myself. I was reassuring her when a group of bats swarmed. They came out of the night squeaking so suddenly and we could only follow their outlines as they blotted out stars. Michelle screamed and jumped behind Rob. Rob got his chance at wit but Michelle jabbed him in the side as he tried to speak. He made an Umphff sound and resided to chuckling. I joined in as the bats continued on their way.

The night was so still and quiet. Our talking seemed to violate the canyon’s sanctity and I grew silent. Michelle regained her confidence and came out from behind Rob so we continued on our way. The rhythmic sound of our foot falls and the running water in the river were music. Deer grazed along side us at the edge of the road. I could reach out and touch one. Lifting my hand I approached. It bounded away through the trees. This time Rob jumped right with Michelle and I realized that he was not hearing the music. I was shocked. I had never noticed, but he was listening to only Michelle. The deer had been invisible to him. Amazing how one could grow blind so quickly.

In the car they were speaking with a rapid pace. We had just woken up and the anticipation of what we were doing drove all drowsiness from us. Rob gave the front seat to Michelle. She sat sideways to face him as I drove. And they talked. I participated now and then, but the conversation was completely theirs…

The sun rose slowly and the wind increased. The valley far below filled with light. There was a faint sage smell to the air that invigorated my spirit.
We sat on the summit and took in the sunrise. A falcon circled us lazily as if stretching its wings after the long night. Rob and Michelle ran to the edge and climbed out on a sliver of rock. Rob turned back and encouraged me to follow them. I shook my head, feeling the breeze finger my hair. No, I would not follow them. Where they were off too I would no longer be able to follow. Rob was leaving me behind in our old life. He was opening his eyes to a new world, a world to which I was yet blind.

As they climbed out of sight I stood upon the highest pinnacle of rock on the summit, a knob that reached stubbornly higher than all the rest, and stretched my arms out to feel the wind. It had been a long, full night.