Distraught

By: James

I feel so angry, and so sad. The anger I feel is for no one but my self. I love her so much but I fear I can not tell her. I love her so much I fear by telling her she will shun me from her life. I envy those who are close to her. Those people who know her more than I. These people whom she loves with all her heart and soul. As I ponder the other thoughts that weigh on my mind; I am distracted; for as I sit and write, the wind howls and the moon glows. For some unexplained reason these common elements of nature are magnified to the utmost extreme. I hear the crickets chirp and the wolves cry. I believe it is this un-vented love that is creating these supernatural senses; forcing its way through my ears and eyes. I believe it is creating a funnel catching every last sound that exists on this earth. I believe this love is creating magnifying glasses that never leave my eyes. Each sound and sight lasts but a moment; unfortunately this reminds me of life, and furthermore this pathetic existence I am living. The sadness I feel is for my unrelenting love for her. Only acquaintances and nothing more; bound to a relationship of talking while I watch others steal her heart, these thieves that take her heart and run away. I wish oh so much they would return it so that I may have it and keep it. I desire it so that I might cherish it and love it. For all that is good and holy how much can one man take?! How much longer can I watch and listen to these fools that deceive her with false love. They charm their way into her life with tales of romance and bravery. I am saddened by these lies, and furthermore am almost angered. It is unbearable to not tell her; to keep it a secret for the rest of my dreadful existence. Maybe one day she will realize how much I love her by not telling her what my true desires are. By not telling her, I am destroying my soul bit by bit and piece by piece. I am sacrificing so much I can not bear it. One day she may realize this is the ultimate love and the purest I could feel for any girl. I shall never love another girl for as long as I live. She is the one for me even if I am not the one for her, and will be forever more. For how can she not be? My eyes will never fall on another and love her. This is true love I feel not foolishness. So one day I hope and pray she will love me, if not, then I shall wait for the next day, and if still no, I will wait forever. Join in prayer with me that I will not have to. For my soul is so tattered I doubt it could take the weight of such a strain.

Mars Bar

One fine day you are walking along enjoying the blue sky and the soft breeze. The sun is shining, dogs are barking, sprinklers are sprinkling. You have a candy bar in your hand which you chew on happily. In short, life is good.

And as you are walking, you spot something on the sidewalk in front of you. Cautiously you approach. Oh, wow, it's another candy bar! And it hasn't been opened.

You look around to see if anyone dropped this candy bar and is coming back for it. Seeing no one, you excitedly pick it up. But before your exclamation of joy fully escapes your lips: Wham-POW!

You are standing in a dark, cold room. You are only mildly concerned until you take your first breath. There is no air.

You panic.

The candy bars drop from your trembling fingers as you pull out your trusty Zippo. A flame sparks but won't ignite. Of course not, you think. Not without air. You curse their design flaw and lack of foresight.

But in the dull and desperate sparks you see them. Two creatures: large glossy shapes towering over you. Tentacles curl towards you. And the eyes, you'll never forget the eyes!

Madly you fling your useless lighter at them and turn, to run. All is black. You have no idea where or what is around you and before your brain can reason with your body about this, your head hits some low hanging equipment and sends you sprawling. As your extremities go numb you are faintly aware of blood trickling down your chin. Then tentacles slide over you and all is gone. You feel no more.

You have passed out.

Yes, you have just fallen prey to one of the oldest tricks in the book: bate humaning. Don't you feel foolish? You took the bate, line and sinker.

The hyper-dimensional aliens retrieve their bate, an innocent looking Mars bar, and reset their Dimensional Portal for their next catch. Bip'tixo, the smaller of the two aliens (and consequently the younger though that is not always the case) drags your body to yet another portal. Deftly his tentacles put in the coordinates for one of his favorite locales on earth. He hits the happy green button that you just know says 'On' even if you can't detect their odor based writing. He throws you through, then washes his tentacles twice and complains to his companion about how dry and rough you were. One tentacle itches his plaid covered stomach while another cracks open their version of a beer.

You come to and find a phone and call home immediately. You explain the above story first to your mom, then your dad, but they just won't believe it. They tell you to stop joking and be home for dinner by six.

Well, maybe they are right. You do have a very active imagination. But, if it didn't happen, you ponder as you stroll down the road, how in the world did you end up at a McDonald's in Amsterdam?

And, as you walk along the sidewalk puzzling it out, you pass a good Mars Bar on the ground. It’s unopened and looks fresh. You hesitate, but no, you're not hungry right now. Better not risk it...

Safety Blue

La la la la
Drink Safety Blue
La di da da
They won’t come for you.
And you need not fear
For you
La la la la
You drink Safety Blue
La di da da
And they won’t come for you!

What a stupid song. The lyrics are juvenile. The melody is sickeningly alluring. But then, it was supposed to be. It does catch on. It gets stuck in your head and refuses to leave. When I awake in the dark of night that song often fights its way into my head. I shout, sing, beat it out. But it never leaves for long. La la la la…

Whoever created it thought they had made something snappy. They were right. Every man, woman and child in the colony knows Safety Blue by heart. While shopping, people hum it. I even caught my dad bellowing it in the shower the other day. It is everywhere! They taught it to us first thing in preschool. They drill us with it in high school. That’s not enough; they saturate our life with it through TV and music. Every station plays the darn song at some point during each program. La di da da…

Our culture is a Safety Blue culture!

It is sickening! I can’t even stand the taste of Safety Blue. I don’t think anyone can. My parents screw up their faces every morning when they drink it. My little sisters mix theirs with orange juice. I don’t care what anyone says about it; they’re lying.

I’ve been studying 21st century advertising and marketing techniques in one of my classes. Interesting stuff. They used to create songs back then to sell products. They called them ‘jingles.’ Some big company would pay an advertising firm to come up with a snappy jingle to sell their new product. The jingle would then be released on radio, in TV commercials, or before movies. It too would stick in peoples’ heads and they would go out and buy whatever the jingle promoted. Just like that, they’d go out and buy it!

Well, I think someone did his homework as the new colony was getting started. That someone was R.G. Hughlilly. He revived the dreaded jingle. And it still works. Every last person in the colony drinks his product religiously. No exceptions! I’ve been checking. And every one of them is convinced if they stop ‘they’ will come for them. Not a bad way to keep your customers loyal and coming back, now is it? Drill into them that if they stop buying the stuff, they will die. ‘They’ are coming to get you. Hughlilly has imprisoned us all.

I know I am still young, but I’ve never seen ‘they’ come for anyone or show any form of aggression in my life. The Bearfalo don’t even fight amongst themselves. They are content to graze night and day on the soft grasses that surround the colony. Often they graze inside the colony on our plants as well. No one truly fears them any more.
But they did once. And R.G. Hughlilly knew that well.

My research brought me to the very beginnings of our colony. The first party to land on the planet was killed. The second party landed to recover them. They reported large furry creatures with powerful front limbs attacking their ship, the bearfalo. The creatures move on either four legs or upright on two. They had small horns and blunt claws. They reminded the second party of a cross between buffalo and bear.
The third landing party set up a fortress-like stockade and got a firm foothold on the planet. Dad said the stockade finally collapsed right before my birth. It used to surround the town building and Mayor’s office. I found pictures of it. The bearfalo were kept out as the settlers arrived. Twice they broke through. They crashed in doors and pulled people out of their beds. Eight people died the first time and five the second. Many were wounded before the animals were stopped. In the following months, ten more settlers were killed. But always outside the stockade.
And R.G. Hughlilly stepped up with his new elixir. He cited the work of fellow scientists stating that the bearfalo’s aggression might result from human pheromones. It was a ridiculous theory and the colony laughed him to scorn. But Hughlilly was relentless. He started his advertising and wrote his jingle. He even moved his factory outside the stockade to show that Safety Blue really did work. And ever so slowly he won the people over. Convinced, they started buying Safety Blue daily and telling their children stories of the once terrible bearfalo.

That is how it used to be. Dad told me those stories too when I was very young. But no one cares anymore. My little sisters have never heard about the aggressive bearfalo other than what is alluded to by the jingle.

Hughlilly was lucky and knew how to play off of a coincidence. He, or more correctly his son since R.G. passed away several years ago, is by far the richest person in the colony.

And so it is that I decided to stop drinking Safety Blue. Through this journal I hope to reveal the corrupt power that R.G. Hughlilly has wielded over our naive colony.

One week has passed. At first nothing happened. My parents caught on after two days and told me I was foolishly endangering the entire family. We had a fight. Dad kicked me out.

I am living with my Fiancée. She is worried but supportive. She sleeps in a different room, as is proper, though with the door locked just in case. Just in case what? In case they come? It makes me chuckle. I hope she doesn’t keep it up.

Today the first incident occurred. I say incident, but it was really nothing. That darn song has just made us all paranoid.

I was walking home from the school along the Easthill trail as a herd of bearfalo sauntered across. I walked around the herd, showing them the due respect they deserve. They are very large and impressive, after all. While walking backwards observing the herd’s reaction to me, I bumped into a straggler. I gasped and stepped back. The bearfalo stood up and watched me as I walked away. It dropped back down and followed me for almost a minute. At one point it was right next to me and sniffed my hand. I patted its side. It then rejoined the herd.

I smile trying to imagine the beast as aggressive. Shannon just locked her bedroom door. I believe she does this more out of distrust of me than of the bearfalos. Whatever. Good night.


Thursday: the second incident happened today. I was out running with Shannon on the far side of the colony. A large herd was grazing on the side of the hill above us. Shannon touched my elbow and I instinctually stopped. Above us the herd was silent. None were grazing. They just watched us. Shannon’s look told me that they looked not at us: they looked at me. She shuddered and ran back to the colony without waiting. The bearfalo in the back of the herd stood up. They all faced me and seemed to be waiting for something. None of them blinked.

I tell you it was eerie, but I am confident. It was coincidence.

Today I got unlucky. After lunch I was on my way to school. A group of elementary students was walking the same direction. There was a very small heard just off the trail grazing; four or five animals. One of the kids threw a girl’s computer at the herd. It hit the side of a bearfalo and fell to the ground. The darn animal didn’t even look up. Being closest, I walked over to pick it up for the girl. The bearfalo turned and looked at me, its eyes wide and black. I picked up the little computer just as one of the males pushed past the grazing females and stood erect ten feet from me. It was massive. The thing let out growl that set my knees shaking. When I didn’t move, it immediately bellowed in a manner I interpreted as hostile. I never knew they could open their mouths that wide. I never knew they had several large, sharp teeth amongst their molars either. Needless to say the kids burst out crying and I caught myself singing that cursed jingle to calm them.

I know, right? A bearfalo growls at me. Can I still pass this off as coincidence?


Saturday: I am paranoid. Every time I go out, there is a bearfalo sitting alone watching me. No matter where I go. Mere chance…but it is always there. Yesterday’s accident has done more than enough to make me fear “them” coming for me. I have spent the afternoon and evening in the apartment.

Shannon got home and yelled at me. I tried to take it stoically but fear I failed. She ended up in tears and locked herself in the other room.

I am awake stewing angrily. There have been too many coincidences this week. Shannon has awoken and is sobbing herself back to sleep. I long to hold her but she won’t let me in. She says I have to start drinking Safety Blue.

The noises are happening again. They are quiet and indistinct. There is no pattern; they come sporadically once or twice an hour. I don’t need to go to the window and look to feed my curiosity. I know. ‘They’ are sniffing around. Worse, I fear Shannon may hear. I don’t want to worry her. I don’t want to hurt her.


Last night I slept little.

By sunrise I had resolved to leave my fiancée for a bit. Just in case there might actually be any credence to the whole Safety Blue issue, you know. I sprinted through the streets as the sun peaked over the hills. One solitary bearfalo followed me through the colony, far in the distance. I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t want to harm anyone. I needed to be somewhere alone.

I am in the colony detention building, one of the sturdiest buildings on the planet. My employee password and palm print were all I needed to get in. The building is entirely automated. It is quiet; there haven’t been prisoners here for more than a year.


I stopped on the way and bought some Safety Blue. I’ve drunk four now and think I’m going to vomit. It hasn’t done any good. As soon as it was dark they came. I couldn’t believe what the surveillance cameras showed me.

They are strong; much stronger than any of us thought. And they are smart. It has been only an hour and these grazing animals have broken into the building through the security gates. They are coming for me.

The power just went out. I write in darkness. I am now locked in the containment cell. The door is solid steel. I should be good until morning…but will they leave when the suns rises?

Oh no, they are against the door. Their howling is terrifying. Their claws, their claws...

They have come for me. There is nothing I can do. If I don’t survive this, whoever finds this journal, please give it to my family. Oh my fiancée, please, tell Shannon I’m sorry. I’m oh so very sorry. Why didn’t I listen to her? Why didn’t I believe? Tell her I love her so much.

And tell my friends, all of them, that it is true: drink Safety Blue and they won’t come for you!